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General Chit-Chat This is a discussion on, Wife for sale within the Community Forums forum; Good morning all, Having recently been compared both to James Robertson Justice and George V, and having made several small ...
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Old 11-06-2005, 05:07 AM   #1
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Talking Wife for sale
Good morning all,

Having recently been compared both to James Robertson Justice and George V, and having made several small children cry just by grinning at them, I decided to shave off my beard for the summer.

The dog noticed immediately,pawed my chin, looked perplexed and wandered off to the bathroom to hunt for the missing facial hair.

Mrs artee however has yet to notice, despite the fact I have now been clean shaven for 48 hours

I have therefore decided to offer Mrs artee on ebay, something along the lines of:

Wife for sale (used)
Several miles on the clock, hideously expensive to run, high maintenance with some signs of wear. Low starting bid and no reserve.

Or if any f2s support board member would like to swap for a Ping 1 iron (blue dot) I would consider throwing in a spare speedtouch modem and a couple of filters to make up the difference.

I am now off to whack a small white ball into various hedges, woodland, water features and bunkers, so have a good day.

All the best,

Bob
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Old 11-06-2005, 06:55 AM   #2
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Just goes to show that mans best friend is far more attentive than the Mrs.......
Now my connection is back up and running mine is relieved that she can now watch all her soaps in silence again...
Judging by your discription i cant see you getting too many bids unless there is some poor desperate soul out there who just needs a cook and bottle washer.......

Btw you sure the dog was off to look for the hair and not pray to the great white god uncle huuey after seeing your face
Good luck. I will keep a keen eye out for this item at ebay and if it does well, i sould be tempted to put mine up for sale too..... Might even thrown in a 12 year old female sprog as well...
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Old 11-06-2005, 12:43 PM   #3
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Reminds me of a silly game I play.
Get any paper and look at the cars for sale.Instead of cars imagine the adverts are for women !
Get some classics like -
"Dodgy back box so she blows a little, needs a touch up"
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Old 13-06-2005, 05:35 PM   #4
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have you put her on ebay yet? If so, give us a link. I trust you included a pic.

Actually, I was thinking about this. If your missus is so unobservant, you mustn't half be able to get away with a lot. I mean, you could troll in one day with an au pair hanging off your arm, and she'd never notice

There is always an upside....
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Old 13-06-2005, 06:46 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donegal
I mean, you could troll in one day with an au pair hanging off your arm, and she'd never notice

There is always an upside....
Our cleaning lady looks like Arthur Mullard, earns £12.50 an hour and Mrs artee tidies up before she arrives

I did try to put a photo on ebay Mick but it was withdrawn as it could frighten people of a nervous disposition

All the best,

Bob
Last edited by artee2; 13-06-2005 at 07:11 PM.
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Old 13-06-2005, 07:39 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artee2
Our cleaning lady looks like Arthur Mullard, earns £12.50 an hour and Mrs artee tidies up before she arrives
Bob
Err.... You pay a Mrs mopp £12.50 a hour....
I'll send mine over for £10.... She looks more like Mr Mullards partner Hylda baker from the chart topping version of the grease song they did.....
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Old 13-06-2005, 10:09 PM   #7
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there's some very brave posts on this thread...
 
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Old 13-06-2005, 10:20 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mark
there's some very brave posts on this thread...
I'm not afraid of Mrs artee..........Mind you she did board a plane for the US about 3 hours ago so I am fairly safe

Regards,

Bob
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Old 14-06-2005, 05:49 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mark
there's some very brave posts on this thread...
Scared of the MRs...... Never....
If she knew what was said she would kill me... Mind you she never ventures into my room as she hates computers.....
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Old 14-06-2005, 09:54 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artee2
I'm not afraid of Mrs artee..........Mind you she did board a plane for the US about 3 hours ago so I am fairly safe
Oh! So you sold her then? What was the winning bid?
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Old 14-06-2005, 12:28 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John R
Mind you she never ventures into my room as she hates computers.....
The worrying thing is, mine is starting to use the computer more and more. What is she up to.... ?
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Old 14-06-2005, 03:50 PM   #12
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If she isn't on Ebay she'll be on one of the many "find a new bloke.com" sites that my wife threatens me with.
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Old 14-06-2005, 05:21 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plesbit
The worrying thing is, mine is starting to use the computer more and more. What is she up to.... ?
Yup. Putting you up for auction on eBay I wouldn't wonder...
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Old 14-06-2005, 07:12 PM   #14
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I think I ought to drop a quick email to Mrs Artee, Mrs Plesbit, Mrs Donegal & Mrs John R ...... !

Rachel
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Old 14-06-2005, 08:46 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akita_inu
I think I ought to drop a quick email to Mrs Artee, Mrs Plesbit, Mrs Donegal & Mrs John R ...... !

Rachel

Ha.... Stand more chance of winning the lottery than contacting mine.....
Hates computers , Wont answer the phone... and leaves letters on the side for me to look at..
Not like i have enough to do as it is.....
Nice life supping cofee and watching tele all day long as i keep telling her...
Keep trying to remind her of the 4 letter word she uttered in the marrage vows.....
OBEY
Never seems to work......
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Old 14-06-2005, 09:27 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akita_inu
I think I ought to drop a quick email to Mrs Artee, Mrs Plesbit, Mrs Donegal & Mrs John R ...... !
aarrrggghhhh! Even the sanctuary of f2s has been infiltrated!!
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Old 14-06-2005, 11:00 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artee2
I'm not afraid of Mrs artee..........Mind you she did board a plane for the US about 3 hours ago so I am fairly safe

Regards,

Bob
I wonder what happened to artee 1 ???

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Old 14-06-2005, 11:57 PM   #18
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Quote:
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I wonder what happened to artee 1 ???
LOL Mo. Either pensioned off....or flogged on eBay like Plesbit.
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Old 15-06-2005, 12:31 AM   #19
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My first and second wives died of mushroom poisoning, and my third wife was shot.

She wouldn't eat her bloody mushrooms

All the best,

Bob
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Old 15-06-2005, 10:34 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artee2
My first and second wives died of mushroom poisoning, and my third wife was shot.

She wouldn't eat her bloody mushrooms
The old'uns are the best eh?

[wonders if akita_inu likes mushrooms]
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Old 15-06-2005, 10:39 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donegal
LOL Mo. Either pensioned off....or flogged on eBay like Plesbit.
As long as my new owner has an internet connection all will be fine.
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Old 15-06-2005, 12:05 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plesbit
As long as my new owner has an internet connection all will be fine.
You see? Blokes have their priorities right. You can't imagine a woman saying that can you?
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Old 15-06-2005, 12:53 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donegal
You see? Blokes have their priorities right. You can't imagine a woman saying that can you?
By rights, what with the washing ,cooking, cleaning, ironing and conjugal duties I fail to see how they would have time for the internet

/me ducks as a mad woman with an eskimo dog hurls a monitor

Bob
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